Of course their love affair lasted more than 5 years. It also was not a short love story like so many others. Their affair lasted for 26 years, and although the love they have for each other will never end, their relationship has finally come to end.
It was a love and a passion that survived many years and many difficulties. How many times did they try to end their relationship only to find out that there never would be anyone else for either one of them. How many times did she move, only to come back to him.
For him it took years before he was able to acknowledge the deep love he felt for her, for admitting to her that she was the love of his life.
Once he felt free to acknowledge his love, a dam broke loose. He would call her 10 times a day, telling her how much he loved. At times it was enough for him just to hear her voice on her answering machine. Every couple of months she would fly up to see him. those were the times they could not get enough of each other.
He showered her with small presents. the greatest gift he gave her was a small clock, the first gift he ever gave to his deceased wife, the mother of his children.
From time to time they discussed his current wife and his relationship with her. He admitted his mistake of not leaving his marriage 20 year earlier and was grateful that she understood. She also understood and realized that he was not in a position to leave his wife now.
when they first met, he was 59 and she was 39. Now, he is going to be 86 and age is finally catching up with him. the last few times she saw him she realized how fragile his body had become and that she had to hold his hand to keep it from shaking.
For the past 14 years their relationship was a long distance one. She had come back from Mexico to be near him, but also understood that they could not live in the same city. the occasions they met were the highlights of their love.
As she saw him aging, her love for him grew and so did the compassion she felt for him and the choices he had made. Although she understood that he believed that he never had a choice, it astounded her when he said " I have to live with the cards life gave me".
To her, it always was a matter of choice, and because of the choices she had made, she relinquished her rights to complain. She always realized that there were three people in this relationship, as did his wife, and that none of them was ignorant of the situations. She realized that each one could have left the relationship if they had wanted to, but for their own reasons decided to stay. So she was constantly amazed by the attacks they both received from his wife.
During the past year their relationship had become increasingly difficult. She realized that he more and more often forgot what had happened in the recent past . Once, when she came to visit him, he got the days mixed up, but fortunately they talked and he remembered in time.When she left that time, she realized that she would never see him again. The tears she cried on her drive home were almost liberating. . She came to see him one more time, but he was not there and later could not remember that she had come up to see him.
It was for a long that she had planned to leave the US, but always delaying the date because of him. She now came to understand that the time had come for her to start a new life.
She will leave in a few months, never to return. She is quite sure that she will never see him again, but hopes that at least she might talk to him one more time. This of course is soooo uncertain.
She knows that a new life is waiting for her, a life without him, but a life of tranquility and peace. She knows that she will be fine with her dog, (no cats this time) and that she will enjoy the remaining years of her life. She hopes, that by her final absence, he may find some peace at home too, although , to her this seems very doubtful. If life dealt the cards, she knows she drew the better cards.
For the rest of her life she will be grateful and thankful for the love she was able to receive and to give. It was a love very few people have the privilege to experience, and she realizes that it was one of the great gifts of the universe.My beloved man, I love you, whatever happens and wherever you are.
You are the love of my life......
